drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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