why didn't you poke me back
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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