the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
