what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
