Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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