i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
