I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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