kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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