I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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