She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
