Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
