You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
