Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
