Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
