Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
