you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
