Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
