sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Welp...herpes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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