fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
