Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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