So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
