the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
