It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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