I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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