you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
