was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
