Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
