Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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