i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
