She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
