He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dicks are not precious.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
