so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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