I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
