brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
