I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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