I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
