You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
