one two three fourrrrnication!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
