Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
