yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
