Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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