I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
