the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
