cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
