I look better un-naked...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
