So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
