I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
