why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
