dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
