you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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