we have officially lost it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
